Baby, It’s Cold Outside (Beware of Rapist)

It’s Christmas Eve! And as much as I enjoy a good Christmas song, I have to say that at least one has really irked me to the point of publicly whining about its horrors. So here goes: the first of many posts regarding What’s Wrong with that Song?!

May I present the atrocious lyrics for your criticism (lines in parentheses are the man in the song) [lines in brackets and bold are my 2-cents]:

I really can’t stay
(But baby, it’s cold outside)
I’ve got to go away
(But baby, it’s cold outside)

—–[Quit making excuses, man! If she wants to leave, let her! Jerk… she ain’t asking permission!]

This evening has been
(Been hoping that you’d drop in)
So very nice
(I’ll hold your hands, they’re just like ice)

My mother will start to worry
(Beautiful, what’s your hurry?)
My father will be pacing the floor
(Listen to the fireplace roar)

—–[What’s her hurry? She just told you, bub. How dare you worry her parents like that?!]

So really I’d better scurry
(Beautiful, please don’t hurry)
But maybe just a half a drink more
(Put some records on while I pour)

The neighbors might think
(Baby, it’s bad out there)
Say, what’s in this drink?
(No cabs to be had out there)

—–[Date-rape danger. Date-rape danger. Date-rape danger!]

I wish I knew how
(Your eyes are like starlight now)
To break this spell
(I’ll take your hat, your hair looks swell)

—–[Eyes dazed… yeah, this is bad…]

I ought to say no, no, no, sir
(Mind if I move in closer?)
At least I’m gonna say that I tried
(What’s the sense in hurting my pride?)

—–[Of course he’s only concerned about himself this whole time. I’m surprised he even has any pride left, having sunken so low… what a leech!]

I really can’t stay
(Baby, don’t hold out)
Oh, but it’s cold outside

I simply must go
(But baby, it’s cold outside)
The answer is no
(But baby, it’s cold outside)

—–[Did he just say no and expect her to obey, when she said no earlier and he walked all over it?!]

This welcome has been
(How lucky that you dropped in)
So nice and warm
(Look out the window at that storm)

—–[He’s starting to sound like the big bad wolf… “Oh! Little Red Riding Hood… how delicious you look!”]

My sister will be suspicious
(Gosh, your lips look delicious)
My brother will be there at the door
(Waves upon a tropical shore)

—–[That’s what I thought… he’s a predator.]

My maiden aunt’s mind is vicious
(Ooh, your lips are delicious)
But maybe just a cigarette more
(Never such a blizzard before)

—–[A vampire, even.]

I’ve got to get home
(But baby, you’ll freeze out there)
Say, lend me your coat
(It’s up to your knees out there)

—–[Maybe he should lend her some R.E.S.P.E.C.T.?]

You’ve really been grand
(I thrill when you touch my hand)
But don’t you see
(How can you do this thing to me?)

—–[Of course, he’s still worried just about little-old-himself, while she’s been thinking of others the whole time!]

There’s bound to be talk tomorrow
(Think of my life long sorrow)
At least there will be plenty implied
(If you caught pneumonia and died)

—–[Yep, more me-me-me… boo hoo, big pervert. He’s even trying to scare her now!]

I really can’t stay
(Get over that hold out)
Oh, but it’s cold outside

—–[In the end, he should have ESCORTED HER HOME HIMSELF. IF NOT, AT LEAST SHOW SOME CHIVALRY AND DECENCY. WHAT AN EMBARRASSMENT TO MANHOOD. GOOD LORD HAVE MERCY ON US WHO ARE LIKE HIM…]

Winter Wonderland is such a better song...

This photo is what should’ve happened. Winter Wonderland is such a better song…

LML: The Secrets of the Cover Art

[WARNING: what follows is an interview that reveals the details and depths of Little Miss Lucifer: The Legend of the Exorcess. SPOILER ALERT.]LML MiniCard

—You: So last time we wanted to get into the cover art and the book’s design. First question for you Mr. Pham: what’s up with all the black?

—Evan: Actually, if you look closely at the cover, it’s not all black. There’s something in the black – something in the dark. (Click here for the front cover art.)

—You: I’m noticing the swirls, grey swirls and curves.

—Evan: What do the grey swirls and curves look like? Just on the front cover.

—You: Hmm… There! In the bottom right corner! I see… I see her now. All the grey is her hair! Who is she?

—Evan: Tagline time: She is a secret.

—You: And she’s looking at something… a butterfly? There are a few words too – looks like “Dare to see in the dark.”

—Evan: Correct. I dare you. See in the dark. So many times we’re distracted by the bright, the light, that we miss the beauty in the black, the signs in the dark.

—You: What signs, exactly?

—Evan: Signs of more. Even in the most dark and forsaken places and persons, there are signs that there is more to them… signs that they are still beloved. Beloved forever.

—You: Hmm, so who is the girl we see on the cover?

—Evan: I told you, she’s a secret. But I can see you want more, so I’ll let Saint Paul elaborate: “She who was not beloved, I shall call ‘My beloved.’” So the girl was not beloved, and the story is about how she is being called “beloved” again.

—You: A redemption story? A love story?

—Evan: Both.

—You: But the cover…

—Evan: Is full of symbols. You might notice there are things in her hair.

—You: Grey flowers?

—Evan: What kind?

—You: Roses…

—Evan: And they appear in the story. Throughout. What else do you see?

—You: A red heart, it’s pierced.

—Evan: The pierced heart represents compassion, and “compassion” means “to suffer with, to suffer alongside and together with another”. One of the signs of real love is if another is willing to endure the pain with you, to tough it out as a team. It’s one of the reasons why pain, sorrow, mourning and suffering actually give us chances to love, and to mature in that love. And in the Catholic Christian tradition, the pierced heart defines the Blessed Virgin Mary – the Mother of God. The icon of her in sorrow at the death of her Son is called Stabat Mater Dolorosa aka: Our Lady & Mother of Sorrows.

When I watched the Passion of the Christ, I wasn’t as moved by the scenes of Jesus being tortured, mutilated, mocked and murdered as others were. Throughout the film, I knew He was all right. He’s God after all. He can take it!

But the scenes when they show Mary – His Mother… I broke down with her when I saw how hurt she was. In a way, she was suffering even more than Jesus! For any mother, any parent for that matter, to see their beloved child being abused and slaughtered… and being helpless to stop it… now if that’s not compassion, I don’t know what is.

Then it gets real theological when you realize that Mary could have told her Son to stop it all. Jesus is the perfect Son in every way, obedient to the Law, there to fulfill it all, including the law of honoring one’s parents. And since He is the God-Man, He really could have snapped His holy fingers and ended all the violence. All.

But He doesn’t. And she never tells Him to do so. Even though He did do the miracle of making wine from wash-water… at her request! But this time, there is no request… there is only compassion.

—You: Wow… all that meaning from a little broken heart on the cover?

—Evan: I had a lot of time to think about it! And the fact that this particular heart is in the butterfly means even more!

—You: Now, I noticed that the antennae on the butterfly look funny. They look more like horns.

—Evan: They are horns. For obvious thematic effect.

—You: Of course. But tell me about how the butterfly image looks. The little white dots…

—Evan: Now that I reminisce, it was about twenty years ago that my second grade teacher taught me how to do that. For a Christmas project, she passed out pages from a coloring book, and the images where Christmas scenes like reindeer and a sleigh, presents under a tree, etc. What we did was put a sheet of black construction paper under the coloring book pages, and instead of using crayons, she gave us pins and cardboard. The board went under the black paper, and we poked holes along the black lines of the coloring book pages, tracing by pinprick. When we were done, we peeled the sheets apart, held the black paper to a window and I never forgot how dazzled I was. The little points of light looked like stars, constellations in a night sky.

So I did that for the butterfly design. I actually call it the Flutterfly. The name makes more sense, since I’m not too sure they taste like “butter” anyway…

—You: Haha, yeah that does make more sense!

—Evan: Thanks for laughing. It builds my confidence.

—You: No problem, please… continue. I feel there’s more to the Flutterfly than merely it being pretty.

—Evan: How about you tell me… what do you think?

—You: Well… aren’t angels usually symbolized by stars? Like, the name “Lucifer” itself means “Morning Star”. So that makes me think of that third of angels that the devil swept down along with him when he fell from Heaven. One-third of the stars were shot down. Right?

—Evan: Right! Revelation, Chapter 12 recounts that. When Saint Michael the Archangel routs Satan and the other demons out of Heaven. I call it Dragon Fall.Like Lightning

—You: Like lightning. That’s what Jesus said right? He saw the Devil fall like lightning from Heaven.

—Evan: Looks like someone knows their Sacred Scripture!

—You: I try… but I don’t know any Chinese, or is it Japanese? What’s the characters on the cover?

—Evan: It’s Chinese, and it translates the title basically. The first three characters say “Lucifer” and the last two say “Miss” or “Little Miss”.

—You: Why Chinese?

—Evan: Because the story is set in China in the near future, rural Southern China specifically.

—You: What a perfect segue to the back cover… Chinese characters galore!

—Evan: And they all mean something. I’m not one to use a character just because it’s nifty lookin’.

—You: Right… like the majority of Chinese tattoos on people who don’t know any Chinese.

—Evan: Yep. And you see those seven reddened characters? In the back cover’s background? Those are key words. If it’s all too busy to tell what they are, the full text is on the last black page of the book. On that page, the reddened ideographs are white and all others remain grey.

—You: You aren’t going to tell me what it all means… are you…?

—Evan: Of course not… not in English at least! In Latin, the big clue awaits in Salvage: Chapter 5. The “Gregorian Chant and Latin Glossary” in the back also helps. Not to mention the online Chinese dictionary mentioned in the “Chinese Glossary” in the back also!

—You: I guess I’ll just have to investigate those later…

—Evan: And you’d guess right. You’re very patient.

—You: Do I have to guess about the origami too?

—Evan: Well, I tried to make them speak for themselves. What do you see?

—You: Turtle… flutterflies… and…

—Evan: Good! But before you guess the big purple origami, you should know that only half the time do people recognize it at first. Let me help you get it right: it’s swimming, and swimming to the right. Its tale is to the left. Its song is eerie, and the color of its origami snout is part of its name. That’s all I’m gonna say.

—You: Haha hmm… blue snout. I can see why it’s difficult for some to guess, because it’s not an animal we normally see in origami. Is it a blue whale? Swimming along the origami letters… and along the waves of her hair!BlueWhale

—Evan: Brrravo. The girl’s hair from the front cover becomes part of the back cover’s design, and see what it does by the sea turtle?

—You: Looks like claws, reaching for something… something beyond the cover’s borders.

—Evan: Reaching, yes. Reaching for…

—You: More. Yes?

—Evan: Yes. And let me add that the origami patterns are from actual origami paper originating from Japanese artists. I looked through hundreds to find the ones I decided to use. Let’s just say that I now have great admiration for the talents of those anonymous artists.

—You: Origami paper can get expensive…

—Evan: You’re tellin’ me! I saw some that were going for almost three dollars for a 5-inch square! But that paper was not ordinary. It even felt expensive to touch. Lots of layers, weaving, and detailing.

—You: But why origami?

—Evan: You’ll have to discover that when you see what the girl does with scrap paper… For now, you’ll have to be content with two words: Origami Army.OrigamiGirl

—You: Interesting! And the red exclamation point at the cover’s bottom left is screaming for attention: Attention: This book contains content forbidden in ≥ 50 nations (Hell included). What’s that about?

—Evan: There are at least 50 nations, territories, political states in the world where Christian tradition and belief are banned. Sacred Scripture is contraband in those places, and devout Christians are persecuted. It’s sort of like ancient Rome before Constantine: Christianity was outlawed, and we were hunted down and killed. So this book too would qualify as contraband, and perhaps nowhere as much as in Hell.

—You: What do you mean? That the Devil forbids this book?

—Evan: Exactly. You see, if the Nazis, or Communists, or Terrorists, or Satanists, etc., are okay with me, if those groups are comfortable around me, then I have a big problem. I don’t want people like that to see me as one of them, or to be acceptable to them.

—You: Because that would mean you’re like them… right?

—Evan: Exactly right. And I’m opposed to them! If evil likes me, then I’m evil! But if evil despises me, vilifies me… then I know I’m on the right side.

—You: And this book attacks them?

—Evan: It attacks Satan himself. But not with hate, not with curses or violence… but with beauty, mercy, grace and blessings. With Motherhood, with Fatherhood, with Childhood. With Love. With God. And those are more potent than any voodoo.

—You: Wow… wow… I guess that’s a great way to end this for now, with a bang. I mean, the other things on the cover seem self-explanatory enough.

Stigmata Hand—Evan: Except you forgot the book’s spine. If you look there, you’ll notice the logo for my publishing entity (Banned Books Press), the red handprint at the bottom. It’s also the same logo I use for the HolySmack.com blog. The red handprint represents the blood of the Christian martyrs who died of love for the crucified and resurrected Christ, symbolized by the cross on the palm – not unlike the phenomena of the stigmata.

—You: Stigmata?

—Evan: Tradition has it that some of the Church’s great saints have been granted the stigmata as a way for them to literally know first-hand how Jesus felt, by suffering the same wounds as their beloved Jesus. Their hands, feet and even side had unexplained open wounds, bleeding but never bleeding out, festering but never infected, gaping but never decaying. Sometimes the wounds would heal completely without a scar, and then return, then disappear again. It’s really mysterious. Off the top of my head, I remember Saint Francis of Assisi, Saint Catherine of Siena, and Saint Padre Pio all had the stigmata.

—You: Looks like I have a lot of research to look up until next time!

—Evan: Happy discovering!

All Girls Allowed!

As promised, 2013’s profits from Little Miss Lucifer sales have just been donated to help abandoned mothers and daughters in China (Below is a summary of what’s been happening, if you’ve been unaware).

Let’s do this again next year!

2013 AGA Donation

Each year, millions of Chinese girls are culled before or after their birth because of the Chinese Communist Party’s draconian One-Child-Policy, and because of unjust cultural discrimination.

Today, at least 37 million women and girls are missing in China – and those who survive the continued culling are considered illegal children, and their mothers and fathers are illegal parents.

Little Miss Lucifer is a story that stares down this horrific reality, that seeks to battle this and other evils. When Evan finished authoring and began editing the story, he remembered stumbling upon a way to help. He decided to act.

All Girls Allowed is a non-profit and non-government organization that helps China’s millions of unloved girls and women live and thrive in an unloving and unjust time.

To help, 15% of all profits from Little Miss Lucifer sales will be donated straight to All Girls Allowed.

But of course that is not enough. Please consider visiting the AGA website to learn more about this important mission, and please consider supporting the cause according to your will and ability.

[The novel, its author and publisher are not affiliated or endorsed by AGA in any way.]

LML: The Secrets of the Legend: The Genesis

The Secrets of the Legend

[WARNING: what follows is an interview that reveals the details and depths of Little Miss Lucifer: The Legend of the Exorcess. SPOILER ALERT.]

—You (yes, you, the reader): So Evan, tell me where you got the idea for Little Miss Lucifer. It looks like you’ve thought of the story for a while…

—Evan: You’re right! I have. I remember in the autumn of 2002, while I was thinking of the human brain, I must’ve remembered something about how we merely use 15% of our neural capacity — I’m sure most people have known about that. But I pushed for more and asked: What if… what if someone could use more? What if an experiment was done that unleashed the brain’s full potential…

That’s what inspired me first. I saw a young girl manipulating the world around her — innocent and beautiful, imaginative and amazing — but that’s all I saw. Over time, I thought of scenarios to show off her abilities, and an origin story started to take shape.

Aurora BorealisIt begins with an alien abduction, and they take her. The extraterrestrials test her, study her, and observe her. In fact, they had been observing her since her conception. They started even before her birth, and she is the perfect specimen.

When the girl is ready for abduction, they begin more rigorous examinations, focusing on her brain. For years, they tweak it, test it, push its limits, until one final operation: they unleash it and lose control over her.

Mind Mining

Mind Mining

This was not what they wanted. They wanted to research the human brain’s unique power for more, but they also knew our fallen nature’s violent tendencies. So precautions were always in place to ensure their safety.
But of course, she escapes. And from there I wandered with her. For 400 pages I explored with her, watched her mature and meet her fellow characters. Eventually, I received plenty of encouragement and good feedback for the story and style. But I wasn’t impressed anymore. Remember that I was only wandering for 400 pages! Wandering! I didn’t want to wander anymore.

I desired to discover.

So although others wanted to read more, I couldn’t bear to read the story-in-progress myself. Where others expected major revelations and profound insight, I knew there was nothing behind the story and between the covers except for some good action and fluffy fluff. I needed there to be more, and there wasn’t.

I set the manuscript aside. Pretty much abandoned it. Three years after I started it (2005-2008), I had hit a solid wall of writer’s block. But by then, I began working on my English degree, so there were plenty of different things to work on: research papers, screenplays, poetry, memoirs, essays, short stories, etc. That took up most of my imagination.

—You: Do you still have the original manuscript?

—Evan: You bet I do! I think it’s great to look back on the beginnings and see how much has matured and how much is still so novel. It’s especially encouraging on an occasional discouraging day that we all run into.

—You: That’s a good way to think of it. Anyway though, please continue.

Never Forget

Never Forget

—Evan: Sure. Well, so for two years after I archived the manuscript, I never really thought about it. But in the autumn of 2010, as I was flossing my teeth, readying for bed, something filled my thoughts, something I call a mental aneurism. It was so clear to me, and it was so clearly not me: Evan, why does the story have to be about aliens? Why does it have to be about the brain? Why not be about the devil? Why not…

—You: The devil? That’s a big shift!

—Evan: Yes, and no. And then it hit me! Right! WHY NOT? The devil has preternatural powers, and can manipulate the world and show off all the special-effects I’ve been loading into the story, the devil can do even more than any alien or human can do! Because demons are not bound by natural laws, and demons are fallen angels! And angels are beautiful, imaginative and amazing (and although some are fallen, they remain powerful and brilliant — hence why they are dangerous).

This will work! Oh my goodness… this will work even better!

I was so excited, that I couldn’t keep up with the ideas swelling in my mind. I whipped back onto the computer and started organizing the scenarios, the plot and the insights. I did that for a year, gathering and sorting, researching and praying, watching and listening until I was ready.

When I started writing the resurrected version of the manuscript, Little Miss Lucifer (which was once merely the title of a chapter in the first draft), I never ran into writer’s block. It was smooth, slick, and like no writing experience I ever had before or since. I finished drafting the whole thing in ten months, and then began the editing process in August 2012.

—You: So once you knew, nothing could stop you?

—Evan: Once I knew how to end the story, everything came together.

—You: You knew the ending before you started writing?

—Evan: Absolutely. There are two things that I need to know about a story before I can tell it well: the ending and the title. It doesn’t matter if it’s a flash-fiction, an essay, a song, whatever. If I know how it ends and what it’s called — I’m off!

—You: That’s some useful advice!

—Evan: I hope so! Hasn’t failed me yet…

—You: Well, I guess this is a good point to wrap up this section. Right? Can we talk about the cover art and the design next time? I have to say… it’s not an ordinary looking book!

—Evan: I tried to make it as extraordinary as possible!

Remembering Tragedy

Tomorrow is the one year memorial of the Sandy Hook tragedy. I was reading Jennifer Hubbard’s reflection in the Magnificat about her daughter Catherine being killed. Somehow, I was then reminded of the Fall — our Fall from Grace way back in Eden — when we chose to disobey and eat of the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil.

And I know for certain God always intended to give us this fruit, this knowledge. Why else would He create such a thing otherwise? A thing that was “good for food, pleasing to the eyes, and desirable for the knowledge it would give”?

DO NOT EAT. DUH!

DO NOT EAT. DUH!

But He wanted us to wait. The fruit was not ready, not yet ripe, and we were not ready. He was saving the fruit, waiting for the right time when it was safe for consumption.

But we wanted to know, and the fruit was still bitter and our digestive system was not mature for it. It was like us feeding solid food to ourselves as newborns. And we got terribly sick.

And this is why there is evil in our world now… we asked to taste it, to bring it into us, to know it, and it has ravaged us with its poisons. The goodness and sweetness of the fruit we forsook when we couldn’t wait, when we chose to have the immature flavor instead.

And we are far from done. Evil can get far worse. We have not yet known its full decadence and toxin. The worse is yet to come. We indeed wanted to know, so now we’re still finding out how wicked it can taste.

Yet, New Fruit has been given to us by the New Eve. The Blessed Fruit of Her womb turns water into wine, and wine into His Precious Blood. He turns bread into His Sacred Heart. Stop settling for the unripe, the bitter, the disgusting, and seek instead the true life, true sweetness, true hope. Salve Regina, Mater misericordiae, vita, dulcedo, et spes nostra, salve…

The Fall, and the New.

The Fall, and then The New.

The Terminator and the Immaculate Conception

This year, for the Solemnity of the Immaculate Conception (Dec. 8th), I’d like to have a chance to share an ancient understanding through a new vantage point. Many people misunderstand what Catholics believe about the Immaculate Conception, many Catholics misunderstand too!

The Immaculate Conception is when Mary — the Mother of God — was conceived in her mother’s womb… Saint Anne’s womb, and Mary was conceived immaculately [without Original Sin].

Yes, we believe that Mary was conceived and born without a single pimple of sin (her birthday is Sept. 8!). She was conceived beautiful, full and precious; she was born beautiful, full and precious; she lived and was assumed into Heaven sinless, beautiful, full and precious. Some may say this belief is ridiculous: that we all need Jesus Christ to save us! Including Mary! That this belief is heresy!

But that’s where the misunderstanding happens. Instead, we have understood it this way: that God is eternal, He is outside of time, not restricted or confined by minutes, months, and millenia. An author who writes a story is also outside of the story, not restricted or confined by the pages, chapters and plot outline. The author can flip to the end, whip back to Genesis, think before Genesis, jump all over the middle, and even simultaneously be fifty-five chapters past the finale and through the sequel! A timeline is a toy! And all the different versions of a draft are like alternate dimensions.

The Author pwns.

[Terminator protecting the young John Connor.]

[Terminator protecting the young John Connor.]

This is exactly the analogy of what God did for Mary. Knowing that Jesus was going to redeem Creation, God used the after-effects of the Passion and Resurrection of Christ and applied the goodness to Mary before she was even born, at her very conception. Mary was vaccinated against Original Sin. (Better yet, it’s sort of like the fantasy of sending a cybernetic organism back in time to change history by protecting a certain person from all danger: aka Terminator 2!)* We believe God is so beyond space, time and quantum mechanics that He not only did this for Mary, but that it was easy and even appropriate!

Why appropriate? Just ask yourself: If you were God, wouldn’t you have made your mommy perfect? And if God didn’t make Mary immaculate, then wouldn’t you wonder why not? After all… couldn’t He have done it? Didn’t He think that His only Son — the King of kings — should have a Queen Mother who matches His royalty?

Of course.

St. Anne with Mary and Jesus

[St. Anne Icon by the talented Theophilia on DeviantArt. Click the pic to visit her page for more!]

P.s. If Mary is good enough for Jesus, then she’s more than good enough for me!

*Hear me out: Sarah Connor is the mother of the savior (John Connor) of mankind in the future war against Skynet. In the future, after John routs the machines, they become desperate and send a terminator back in time to destroy his mother before he is conceived. John knows this and sends a guardian back in time to protect his mother from harm.

In Catholic belief: Mary is the mother of the savior (Jesus) of mankind in the age-old war against sin and Satan. In the future, after Jesus dies and rises from the dead and thereby routing all Hell, He sends His grace and power of redemption back in time to protect His mother from harm (sin) at the point of her conception. Thus tada: Immaculate Conception

Not a perfect analogy, but too close to be a coincidence!

TerminatorTime

More immaculate info here.

There Will Be Blood

SurgeryPrepI was at a Tridentine Mass and the priest was vesting in the sanctuary. Altar men in full cassock and surplice were assisting the priest, like how nurses assist a surgeon before the operation, like how technicians assist an astronaut before launch, like how safety personnel assist engineers into haz-mat suits before a mission.

Yes, it was complicated, those Extraordinary Form chasubles of antiquity. But as I watched the priest vest in chasuble and maniple, my imagination took off (as you can see) and my mind stopped when I saw the symbolism. And when I saw it, I could never unsee it. Permanent and powerful.

Vestments

The chasuble was a giant apron, not unlike the kind that a dentist buries you under before they take X-rays of your jaws and teeth. The chasuble is thick, heavy and dense, and looks almost stab-proof.

Now why would the Church vest her priests in these bulletproof vests… err, aprons?

Why?… I wondered.

Because there will be blood. Because there will be BLOOD!

It’s going to get messy at Mass. It’s a sacrifice… the Lamb will be slain, the priest will fill a chalice with its precious blood, the priest will feed us with fresh flesh from the Lamb.

So of course a chasuble is necessary!

FinalChasubleManipleBurseVeilBut now, what about that maniple? That fancy, overgrown handkerchief pinned onto the priest’s left arm? It hangs down by about a foot… so obstructive (right?)! Why would that be important…

Because there will be sweat. Because there will be tears shed.

Worship and sacrifice is hard labor. Prayer and service for an hour before an altar, lugging around all that armor, deciphering all that Latin, chanting all that time, expressing all those gestures and postures, genuflecting, stooping, bowing, kneeling and weeping, and more…

So of course a maniple is necessary!

Because love is hard work, because love involves tears, sweat and blood from the lover and from the beloved. And love is the only thing worth it all.Ghent Altarpiece by Jan van Eyck

Believe in Something MORE

A certain meme set off my sarcastic side* today. Here it is with my response all over it:

Don’t always believe in yourself — always believe in something MORE!

In case you can’t read the heresy, it says with much naivete: “A bird sitting on a tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is not on the branch but on its own wings. Always believe in yourself.”

There are a half dozen things wrong with the claim. I’ll let you figure out the others after I share the big one:

I don’t believe in myself. I know that sounds like I have a major lack of self-esteem, but it’s more than that. I don’t believe in myself because I’m only human!

I make more mistakes than good calls. I miss more opportunities than I can remember, and the fact that I can’t remember (because of my limited mortal brain) makes me even less reliable.

I’d much rather believe in Him who is forever greater than me, because I am so limited, selfish, mortal and sinful. Even if I do believe in myself, without the Lord, there’s not much to believe in… (sorry to bust your bubble! I’m not God, and you aren’t either. I can prove it: one day we’ll both be dead! What’ll we believe in then? A corpse?!)

Every success I have in my life has been because the Holy Spirit has helped me. Either through others (like my parents, family, friends…) or directly (like when I get random awesome ideas and surges of motivation that zip in from nowhere)!

So next time you need to believe in yourself, actually pray that God helps you to believe in yourself, because your lazy and forgetful self will probably stop believing pretty quick. (See what I did there? I blew up a contradiction.)

*Sorry for the sarcasm if it offended you. Occasional bursts of sarcasm are known to emit randomly from my highly critical mind.