The Key to Immortality

Posted by HolySmack on November 28, 2013

Hello readers of Holy Smack! Happy blessed Thanksgiving to all you Americans of the United States.

Mao

Because of my Chinese background, I was thinking the other day: who is the most widely well-known Chinese person in the history of mankind?

Could it be Mao Zedong? The infamous and notorious butcher of a chairman? Who was responsible for at least two failed class revolutions in China that resulted in at least 30 million deaths each.

Christ have mercy on him and their souls.

Emperor Qin

Could it be Qin Shi Huang Di? The infamous and notorious butcher of an emperor? The one who mandated that construction workers of his Great Wall improvise when they ran out of bricks. And so the bodies of workers and peasants were used instead. The Great Wall is the world’s longest mass-grave, visible from space they say.

Lord have mercy on them all.

… Or could it be Bruce Lee? The famous and celebrated martial artist of the body and the mind?

Yes, my friends — Bruce Lee read, studied and loved philosophy. And now that I’m in the philosophy program at seminary, I’m also discovering the intrigue and intensity of what our human minds can do. But before I am articulate enough to share that aspect, let me share this:

A lover of life!

Bruce Lee and his son in 1966.

And what a life Mr. Lee lived! In 32 years, he went from awkward skinny kid stuck in Hong Kong and awkward Chinese immigrant stuck in San Francisco, to Amazing. Just Amazing. It makes me think if he had lived on, what else could he have done? What else? (Reminds me of Jesus Christ, who in 33 years went from unknown to UNIVERSAL SAVIOR… but we’ll talk more about Him another time, aka: Christmas?)

And then I realized that even though Bruce Lee died so early, that I doubt anyone would think his life was wasted. In fact, no matter how short a life is lived — if lived worthy of honorable memory — it is a life of immortal importance. Because we are all immortal. What we leave behind: our legacy, our children, our friends, our love and contribution is all forever. What we leave behind: our crimes, our orphans, our enemies, our selfishness and deprivation is all forever.

So we are all immortal, only the question is: in what way will we be immortal? Will you be immortal in Heaven? and leave tracks behind that help others aim for Heaven? Or will you be immortal in Hell? and leave snares behind you…

For your consideration, please have a look (satisfaction guaranteed):

The World Is Not Enough

Posted by HolySmack on November 23, 2013

I am thinking of some of you… perhaps most of you — maybe.

I am asking the Lord in the Blessed Sacrament of the Altar. The following is an actual prayer journal entry of mine from the morning of November 15th, 2013:

Jesus? how do those who used to believe in You stop believing? How would anyone un-believe after realizing the Beauty? When in unbelieving, the cessation would limit their gaze on Beauty?

How did they decide there was enough beauty, that they were satisfied with the world and all its temporary aesthetics? Whereas myself… in love and in need of greater and greater beauty, in hope of deeper and deeper drowning in Beauty, drowning in Her. I could never settle for the beauty of mere creation, not because Creation is cheap… no! But because She is so sensuous and luscious that I must find Her source! I must reach for it to reach it! Did man who gazed upon the blush of the moon rest content on merely gazing? Does man shrug at the tropical beach and leave perfectly happy to have seen it from afar? Does a bridegroom just married to his bride find satisfaction in merely beholding her silhouette?

What man would not hope instead to stroll the cheeks of the moon? to rest upon the beach, upon her warm sands, wade in her warm waters, wander her gardens and taste the sweets of her groves? What husband would not desire to embrace and behold fully his wife? All of her!

All of Her! All of Beauty.
And only All will do for me.

And who does not want even more? Who would settle for less than Heaven?

And I believe in You, God, for I cannot believe that Beauty ends, as this mortal creation ends. My appetite for Beauty is too great, it is too devoted to accept that it all perishes, and perishes forever. But, it is just barely great enough to have faith that Beauty is eternal, forever.
I will only be sated with Her forever.

“If love is not forever — it is nothing.” -Saint Teresa of Avila

Saint Cecilia

Posted by HolySmack on November 22, 2013

The Sculpture of St. Cecilia by Stefano Maderno in Trastevere, Rome.

Young lady, who are you?
Your beloveds called you Cecilia,
Yet your Beloved called you more.

Where is your face?
Why are you on the floor?
Who left the scars upon your neck,
And do the marks endure?

Your flesh was found,
And they called it incorrupt.
Your body was cast down,
Yet it would not be cut up.

You live now in True Life.
You gaze now upon the True Face.
Your fingers grasp the Divine,
And your death shows us True Faith.

Pray for me who fears,
Pray my love is like yours,
Pray Cecilia, that I am called more.

Professor-X is a Priest!

Posted by HolySmack on November 15, 2013

I’m not an X-Men fan, so forgive me if I get this wrong, but Professor-X did something pretty superhuman once, when he was a young man.

Duh, right? Charles Xavier is a telepathic mutant, of course he can do superhuman things: read minds, erase memories, create dreams and illusions. But I bet you missed one in the film X-Men: First Class. I almost missed it too! Until I watched more carefully, more thoughtfully.

In the movie, Charles meets and becomes friends with a CIA agent, Moira MacTaggert. Throughout the story, the two grow closer and their alliance matures into friendship, and in the end, their friendship blossoms into a sweeter love. If you haven’t watched the film yet, sorry — deal with the spoiler!

So in one of the last scenes, Moira leans down to kiss the paralyzed Charles. And there it is! That’s when it happens! That’s when Professor-X rises to the challenge.

Professor-X chooses the discipline of celibacy.

Not because he doesn’t love Moira, not because he wants to be lonesome, not because he’s afraid of marriage and sacrifice and fidelity.

Nope. Professor-X chooses celibacy because he cares so much about Moira, because he’s responsible for way too many others to just marry and live a simple life with her, because he can’t live a simple life — period! — and because he wants to live a life of extreme sacrifice and fidelity for others (mutant or not).

Professor-X chooses what all solid Catholic priests choose. A priest, in a sense, is a man who cannot love just one, but desires to love many and to lay his life down for their lives. He wants to offer his maleness, his masculinity in a way that serves others, and not merely himself. He becomes a brother to all, a son to all, a father to all.

Celibacy allows a man to live simply, to have the ease of going off on a mission at a moment’s notice. He doesn’t have to worry about who to care for first, whose attention he should tend to first. The question: “My family, or everyone else?” doesn’t happen to him. Because in celibacy, “everyone else” IS HIS FAMILY.

And that’s what Professor-X realized. He needed to overcome his natural, good and human want to marry a woman and start a family with her. He and celibate priests choose to go beyond the call of nature and love more, and more, and more.

This goes for religious sisters and nuns also! They choose to be a sister to all, a daughter to all, a mother to all. It’s for the same superhuman reasons, and since it’s superhuman, not all persons desire it, and even less achieve it: the level of love involved and demanded is intense.

That leads us to this common misconception: “If priests aren’t allowed to marry, then they will act out their desires in horrible ways, like abusing children and others!”

But think about this: If a man marries so that his desires won’t come out in horrible and abusive ways… then I feel scared for his wife and kids! Marriage and love is not some sort of release valve for a lustful and abusive person! If that’s how the man is, then for the sake of humanity, keep him away until he grows up into a real man: someone who follows that love is sacrifice for the good of others, not for gaining selfish pleasures!

Any man who sees marriage as some release valve for his desires should never marry, and should never ever be a priest. He must master his lust first: he must let God’s grace transform his restless lust into restless and selfless service. He must rise to the superhuman challenge. Because women deserve better, don’t they? Because the Church deserves better, doesn’t she? Because all of us children deserve better, didn’t you know?

And Grandfather To All!

P.s. Even Professor-X’s name gives it away! “Charles FRANCIS XAVIER”? Come on… like what Catholic hasn’t at least heard of Saint Francis Xavier?!

P.p.s. The discipline of priestly celibacy goes even deeper than these practical reasons, but that conversation is for another time.

What’s “Seminary” Anyway?

Posted by HolySmack on November 10, 2013

If that’s a question you can’t really answer, then you’re just like me — until a few months back. A lot of people these days aren’t really sure what a seminary is, much less how a good seminary works. Well, let me do my best to explain:

What seminary is not:
-a priest-school
-a place to hide from the world
-a last resort because you can’t do anything else
-a place to learn to be a priest so you can be in a position of power

Instead, what my few months here has helped me realize is that a solid Roman Catholic seminary is a prolonged retreat. I’ve been here since late August and I still feel like this place is a retreat house. So the question is, what’s a retreat and how’s it different from hiding from the world?

A retreat is exercise, and it’s exercise that focuses on the soul and spirit. People go to boot camps to train their bodies and minds, but in a retreat we train the person to become a better version of him or herself, through and through. Seminary formation focuses on our habits, opinions, personality, ethic, self-mastery and self-discipline, and most of all our adoption of the virtues: prudence, justice, temperance, fortitude, faith, hope, and love.

Strong not just in the muscles, but in discipline, selflessness, integrity, honesty, faithfulness and love.

So in seminary, we learn about ourselves and rise to the challenge of becoming stronger Christian men by relying more on God’s grace and less on our own abilities. Jesus becomes more our center, our guide, our inspiration, our energy to live up to what the world needs us to be: solid and selfless men who love the Lord.

And contrary to what many think, a man who leaves the seminary without becoming a priest is NOT a failure. He is a success! A win-win-situation! If the man finds his calling to be a devout Catholic priest who is solid, selfless, and loyal to the Lord, then he has found his treasure in serving the Church and all her members. This man leaves the seminary with a mission. If the mans finds his calling to be a devout Catholic husband who is solid, selfless, and loyal to the Lord, then he has found his treasure in serving the woman of his life, his bride and all the little ones they may be blessed with. This man leaves the seminary with a mission. If a man finds his calling to be a devout Catholic single soldier who is solid, selfless, and loyal to the Lord, then he has found his treasure in serving others in ways that priests or husbands cannot serve. This man leaves the seminary with a mission.

Faithful to the end

That is the generosity and beauty of the seminarian experience. Of course, some seminaries are better than others (hence the reason for some seminarians being sent far away from their home dioceses even though there are other seminaries nearer by), but they all aim for the same goal: solid, selfless men loyal to Jesus Christ who are ready to love until death does them part from life.

That’s also why seminary is so challenging. A man can’t just go to his pastor and say he wants to apply for seminary. There are background checks, criminal history record scrutiny, blood tests and physical evaluations, letters and letters of recommendation, essays and essays to write, interviews and psychological exams to clear, and more. And if a man is accepted, then there’s the inhumanly possible horarium — a daily schedule that is made to break anyone who tries to be selfish or lazy with their time. Since this is a Catholic seminary, there is also tons of prayer time that can either be wasted, or can result in one growing by the leaps of master pole-vaulters. Then there are the classes. Not only does the seminarian try to increase his physical strength and endurance, increase his spiritual virtues and prayer life, his self-mastery and service to others, but he also increases his intellectual and logical prowess with philosophy, theology and even Latin (a very demanding language that behaves more like mathematics!).

If you think Jesus is a weakling, wait till you see His return in all glorious almightiness. Who else fought the devil to the death, and then came back better than ever?

The seminary is where boys go so that the God-Man Himself transforms them into men just like Him. And who doesn’t want to be like the God-Man (Who not even death itself could keep Him dead!)?

Pray for me!

*Disclaimer: there is no guarantee in the seminarian formation process that all the men who leave will be solid, selfless and loyal to the Lord. If the boy is selfish, prideful, dishonest, lustful and unwilling to mature, then there is no seminary (but suffering, perhaps) that can inspire him to grow up.

Samurai Saint Michael

Posted by HolySmack on November 8, 2013

My friends! Allow me to introduce to you four of the mighty archangels in full samurai armored glory:

Mr. Daniel Mitsui’s depiction of Revelation 12 in the Traditional Japanese style.

If that piques your interest, then please visit the artist’s page and support him with encouragement, prayers, and then some if you are able! I admire Mr. Mitsui’s diligence to detail, his faithfulness to the Church, and his contribution of beauty into the world. So please, give his site some of your time and enjoy his galleries and his blog!

And don’t forget why Mr. Mitsui even inked this wonderful work of art! Pray to Saint Michael, ask him to guard us from evil, to free us to choose Jesus always.

Repeat after each and every Mass.

A Beautiful Halloween

Posted by HolySmack on November 5, 2013

For those who don’t know Detroit, especially the neighborhoods around the seminary, it’s not the safest place to walk around at night. There are abandoned buildings, houses, streets and land in every direction. I’ve even heard random gunshots during my after dinner walks by the street.

So if it’s not even safe during the day, then where do the kids go trick-or-treating on Halloween? Where do their parents take them?

They go to the seminary.

For a month ahead, candy donations are delivered to the seminary, and for the night of the 31st, a small truckload of sweets go out into the neighborhood youngsters.

That’s what I was told when I started my year here at Sacred Heart.

But then I saw it myself. At least 1000 people — children, teens, toddlers, infants, parents, grandparents — lining up to stop by the seminary doors for bagfuls of treats… at least 1000 friends to greet and welcome.

I saw so many of our neighbors in that few hours. I watched them come out of the rain, watched them share their smiles with us, their laughs and their joy even though they had waited in line for two hours! I felt sad for them: the long walk they took, the cold they endured, the damp on their backs. I felt sad…

But I couldn’t stay sad.

I couldn’t help but feel that I was the one who was tired, that I was the one who was cold and damp. The 1000 friends were visiting to help me see what I was missing, what I couldn’t see: that when they all left, I felt lonely. I felt beauty had left… but not without leaving her mark,

All around the seminary floor… the marble and tiled floor was slathered with wet footprints, mud and dirt, leaves, scraps and pebbles. It was a dirty floor. But it was so beautiful. I saw then that beauty lurks in the dirt.

If the floor had been kept untouched with so many guests around, then the floor would be ugly. It would be ugly because it didn’t welcome anyone. It would be ugly because we refused to let any friends visit — to keep the house clean would mean for us to keep our doors shut, to keep us isolated, selfish.

Same with my hands. They were sticky and grimy, sweaty and slimy. They were covered with beauty. All the hands I got to shake, the fingers I got to hold. If I had kept my hands clean when there were that many visitors to welcome, then my hands would have been filthy with selfishness.

True ugliness then, was my selfishness. And true beauty then, was the spent floor, the soiled steps, the dirtied hands.

Shoe Box Baby

Posted by HolySmack on November 2, 2013

Momma took us to buy new shoes for the first time. We wandered the building all day looking for the right store when Momma stopped.

I recognized the box. We all recognized it – Momma, Big Sister, and me. The cardboard body, glossy skin, red and white makeup. It smelled like rubber bands. We used to put special things inside, like flowers, feathers, amber.

I remember the last time we saw the box – back home in the desert far away, far from our new home in America. We were pushing dirt over the box, covering it like a bad secret. The falling dirt and rocks made tapping sounds on the lid. Sometimes I think it was him – trying to come back out. But I know it was too late.

I knew when Momma tried to feed him. I knew when he was too quiet. I knew when Momma cried.

After we kissed him goodbye, Momma took one of her dresses and wrapped him inside. He looked like a big red yam. Then she took the special box down from the top shelf. She left everything inside alone and put him inside. He fit perfect.

Big Sister took me outside and we used sticks and our fingernails to open the earth. The ground was dry because the sky stopped sweating – even though it was very hot. We had to scratch hard to tear the hole big enough.

When Momma came outside of our hut, she held the box like she held him. We watched her kneel and listened to her breathe. I know she was singing even though I do not remember the song. Then she put the box into the ground. The sun shined off the lid like it was a puddle. It was wet.

Big Sister and I helped bury the box. We watched the red rectangle disappear under the ground, like a sunset. We stopped when Momma stopped.

Momma went to the shelf of red boxes – so many of them, all new, all the same. She picked one and stared at it. I saw her hand tremble when she touched it. She took it from the others and kneeled down. Big Sister and I stood still. We watched her open the box, then another, then another.

“Ma’am? Ma’am!” a woman said, “Can I help you find something? What’s your size?”

Momma did not stop. She searched more boxes and left more new shoes everywhere. I was embarrassed when the woman became angry and told Momma to stop. Everyone in the store watched us.

Then Momma told Big Sister and me to help her, “Help me find your brother. Help me find him.”

Made of Love, Made for Love

Posted by HolySmack on October 29, 2013

Dear readers,
Today I’d like to share with you the Theology of the Body (TOB). In short, it’s an insight, a philosophy, a rejuvenating lifestyle that saved my life in October of 2006 and changed my life forever. Nothing’s been the same since — in fact, I divide my life into two parts: BTOB and ATOB [BEFORE Theology of the Body and AFTER Theology of the Body]. This past weekend, I celebrated my Sixth Year of Purity and reflected on how far I’ve come from where I was, and how beautiful the destination ahead looks. Honestly… it’s something you gotta see to believe.

I due time, I’ll tell you more about it from my personal perspective, but for now, may I introduce to you Sister Jane Dominic Laurel. Below is a link to her TOB talks. I just finished the final video and quiz (see if you can beat my score!) and cannot wait to share them with you all. Please give Sister a chance at your attention, and hang on. Even if you’re already familiar with TOB, I don’t think you’ve seen it from this perspective yet! Don’t let me be the only one!

Sister Jane’s “Rich Gift of Love” series.

Drink Drank Drunk

Posted by HolySmack on October 24, 2013

Once upon a time, a dear friend of mine turned 21. She, a few friends and myself went to celebrate at a bar. In general I find bars too noisy and distracting for good conversations, but I made an exception this time to go anyways.

I do not mind legal drinking. I drink a bit myself. Heck, even Jesus makes wondrous wine from waste water! And He turns ordinary wine into His Precious Blood! And if THAT’s what He meant by True Drink… well then gimme summa dat!

But seriously, what I do mind is when someone I love and care about can’t even understand what I’m saying to them. The alcohol blinds them from me, puts me on mute, and makes them dumb. I do not want my beloveds to become dumb – not even for a minute! If your friends/family wants you to go dumb, who needs enemies?

Sure, there’ll be laughs and giggles. But what is there to laugh about? THINK about it – it’s laughter at someone saying and doing stupid things they don’t even know they’re doing. And this person is someone you care about? Good way of showing it…

Then what if they get themselves hurt, in trouble, and do something irrevocable? Something they’ll regret? A fun time becomes a nightmare. A celebration becomes a wreck.

Maybe I’m just being picky, stubborn, overly serious, and am overreacting. But I just value sharing meaningful conversations with loved ones – and I want us both to remember the meaningful time.

Many things in life are painful – but none as much as being the only one who remembers something special.